Getting back on one night stands, I want to get on something that I don’t think I made clear enough in my guide about one nights stands: risky men get risky sex. I say this because I’ve been out with guys who have read it, and they continue to ignore what I said about NO PHONE NUMBERS, TAKING RISKS, and MISSED OPPORTUNITIES. In other words, you guys are playing it too safe.

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I mentioned this before, but you really don’t want women to see you as a potential boyfriend if all it is that you want from them is sex; hence, why I said no phone numbers. Instead, women need to see you as the type of guy that just oozes masculinity; the type of guy that’s going to rough her up in bed. And you display this by taking risks, being a little raunchy and whatnot.

You want women to think to themselves “Wow, this guy has balls.”. I already know exactly what 99% of you reading this are thinking: you’re just going to randomly walk up to girls and tell them that you want to fuck them or take them home. That’s not how it works. As I mentioned in my Statue Of Liberty routine, in order for you to really see any success, the woman has to feel some kind of attraction towards you first. You can’t just be an unattractive guy with no game, and expect women to sleep with you just because you walked up to them and asked them to.

And what really surprises me, is that many of you haven’t caught on to the sheer number of risks that I take with women when you read my stories. Even in my guide about one night stands, you can see where I went for sex, the girls initially turned me down, only to later jump my bones. Why? Because big balls and masculinity turn women on. If you’re really cool about the situation, and imply that you’re not going to see her any differently if she has sex with you, then she’s probably going to fuck you (all of this is assuming that she’s attracted to you in the first place).

You don’t necessarily have to be vulgar when you want sex; you can simply invite her back to your place, and you’ll get the same message across minus the vulgarity. So many of you tiptoe around letting women know that you want to have sex with them, and then wonder why you aren’t getting any one night stands. Stop inviting women to “after parties”, and stop asking for phone numbers; if you want sex, then don’t be afraid to ask a girl if she wants to leave with you; don’t be afraid to tell a woman that you want sex. If you’re just really cool about it, and she feels attraction towards you, you’re probably going to get it.

Stop being afraid of women and what they will think of you. You get so invested in the outcome that you’re afraid to lose the girl by saying something risky. Instead, you’d rather invite girls back to after parties or ask for a phone number simply because it’s the safe thing to do and you don’t want to risk losing her by being honest about wanting sex. You are just too invested in the outcome. A one night stand is risky for a girl, but you don’t get to that risky outcome if you’re too busy playing it safe and never take a risk. Let go of the outcome and be willing to lose the girl.

If You're Faking It, Should You Ever Tell?

We get some fairly interesting questions to go along with some of the totally asinine, unintelligible, and downright hilarious ones we receive. Such brings me to the point I was this morning when I started to answer a question that I felt might serve better as a blog post. Creep with me. Here's the question:

I've been faking it for a year and a half. We're getting married in a couple of weeks. I enjoy our sex life immensely, just can't get there very often. Should I tell him?

Well that's an interesting conundrum, now isn't it? There are a few different ways to skin this cat. Let's take a look at them. 

For starters, wow. Having to fake an orgasm for a year and a half seems like a lot of work. I know its pretty easy for a woman to do but to keep up the charade for so long WHILE convincing your man that he's doing a good job just seems...exhausting. Yet, this woman actually enjoys her sex life? I'm slightly amazed by that. But she claims she is so I have to accept that as fact.

So here's where I think it becomes really interesting in general: I have no idea if she should tell him or not. And even further, I don't know if you should ever tell your significant other that you've been faking it...ESPECIALLY for a year and a half. 

I wonder how I'd feel if the woman I love came to me and told me she'd been faking it for that long. If she said it to me in the heat of an argument I'd likely not believe her since folks say all kinds of mean spirited stuff in fights. However, if she came to me on some serious, we need to talk tip, and broke it down for me that she'd been faking it, almost like how an admission of cheating might occur, I wonder if my ego would be crushed. OR if I'd just tell her that I wanted to do better. I assume I'd go with the latter but I would be confused as to why she felt a need to fake it all that time.

A couple of times when you're tired? I can dig that. Hell, I've done that. And yes, men do fake it sometimes as well. But constantly and always? 

What would women feel like if their man told them that he never managed to orgasm sleeping with her? Would that be a severe shot to her ego and womanhood? These things keep me up at night. (As does wondering just how old Elmo is...)

Now, while I'm not sure if you ever need to tell somebody, I do think that you should definitely attempt to make sure that you get yours. Telling your partner that they need to try new things or that you want to attempt something different to get there is mandatory. Hell, just telling them what DOES help get you there will likely result in him or her going over time to do it just to get you off. That negates the need to tell them. Right? 

More open communication can alleviate the whole need to tell them that you basically can't get them there, thereby turning a negative directly into a positive. Which leads me to wonder is there EVER a reason to tell in the first place? 

So I bring that to the people...is there ever a reason to tell somebody and SHOULD you arrive at a decent reason to do so, still, even then, should you? Or should you just find ways to help your partner get you where you need to go? 

Inquiring minds would like to know!