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Earlier this week, i received an email from a vsb regular who sent me a transcript of chat she had with another Loveawake dating member, lamenting the “death of courting“.

Here’s a few highlights

chick 1: I get mad every time a man thinks it his damn right to get some ass.

what happened to the artificial wait period?

I mean really

U don’t want a tramp! Stop trying to make me into one!

it’s like once you have sex, what else is there??

cuz the default thing to do when together is f*ck

often times ruining the chance to do other sh*t like go on dates and just chill and talk and get to know each other

chick 2: it seems like it always has to be the end activity

ok we went to the movies

lets go home and f*ck

ok we had dinner lets go home and f*ck

ok we had brunch lets go home and f*ck

I mean really

just get in the damn bed and lay there!

chick 1: like can you just hold me??

chick 2: you not turning my vajayjay into a pulled pork sandwhich

chick 1: maybe if you put more effort into other aspects of me and US then perhaps i’d be more in the mood and really put it on you and have you wanting to do more so you can get

chick 1: dead @ turning my vajayjay into a pulled pork sandwich

granted there are plenty of loose, pulled pork sandwichy girls out there

but WE aren’t them

and dudes need to know how to adjust accordingly

chick 2: I want to know what other women go through

is it a certain type of woman that gets this treatment

why do men think this sh*t is ok

when did things change?

two thoughts immediately came to mind after reading this

1. there are only two ways for a woman to be absolutely certain that a man they’re seeing isn’t thinking about sleeping with her the entire time they’re together.

a: he’s not straight

b: he’s gay

since most straight woman try not to actively date gay men, i find it odd and a bit humorous when they’re still surprised, after decades of dealing with us, that we want to f*ck them. sure, we may find time for watching tv or talking or knitting together or some sh*t, but we approached you, we bagged you, we called you, we asked you out, we took you out, and we foot the bill all because we want to f*ck.

sure, other things about you might eventually interest us, and if you’re interesting enough, we might even want to marry your ass, lol, but sex is the latent cause beneath pretty much everything we do with you. granted, some of us may be smoother or more patient in our prowl than others…but we’re still all on the prowl. some of us are just better hunters.

also ladies, trust me. you dont (i repeat, you DONT) ever want to date a guy who isn’t making an effort to sleep with you. you wouldn’t know how to handle that. trust me.

2. i agree that the actual act of courting doesn’t seem to have much relevance anymore for many of usbut did it ever? think about it: when you consider arraigned relationships/marriages and the fact that many of our elders ended up shacking up with each other by their 17th birthday, maybe men have to do more courting NOW than we ever did before.

thats it for me…for now.

thoughts, falks?

 

Read Also:

The Black Pass

Tried-and-True Tactics for Love Troubles

When Does Casual Flirting Cross the Line?

The Battle Of The Sex-Less

Public Displays of Affection We Don’t Need to See

Understanding Identity for Multiracial Families

First Impressions in the Modern Black Dating Scene

Why Some Women Remain Single